Hi Tanya,
I sympathise with you, as I have had IBS for over 24 years now, I am now 42. My niece who is 23 has just been diagnosed with IBS too.
I tried a lot of different treatments, and found it was certain foods that I ate that gave me more spasms and cramps. I now eat little often, and keep a food diary so that I can see if there is a pattern and then gradually take back the foods you eat and the ones that still give you problems then it is possible you are intolerant to that product or something within the product.
I recently found out that I am now affected by some products which I have never had a problem before, but it is the Protein in them that gives me severe spasms and diarrohea.
I registered with IBS Network .co.uk, they are great, and you get a membership card that has "I CANT WAIT" on it, and says that the holder of this card has a medical condition that requires them to use toilet facilities now. it is great when you need to go to the toilet and there is a queue, as you can then use the disabled toilets or ask to be first in the queue by showing the card. I havent had any problems with irrate people for me using the disabled toilets, but I just say
You Cant Hold Whats Not In Your Hand !! and Dont Judge a Book By its Cover !!
I suggest also, using a hot water bottle or heat pad you put in the microwave onto your stomach, over the years my hot water bottle is always with me,,, as the heat is good for the spasms. I also take peppermint oil, as it is good for spasms, cramps and wind. I also take Lapromide (Immodium) each time I have diarrohea, and it also helps cramps and spasms too. Ask your GP about this, as Immodium over the counter is expensive, where as if you try it and it works get Lapromide on prescription, much cheaper.
I do a lot of talks in my areas on IBS, and how to deal with it, and I am surprised that there are so many different age groups including men that turn up.
With the IBS Network organisation, they also have a list of support groups in your area, (not much in Wales, but getting better), but maybe in your area there might be one close to you that you could register with and talk about your IBS. as chances are someone is having the same problems as you and has got some hints and tips for you to try.
anything else let us know and i will help as best as I can.