"with friends". Exactly. They're ok if done with friends but not on people you don't know very well or don't particularly get along with. Remember Tim & Dawn constantly winding up Gareth in the Office. May have been "playful and harmless" to them but not to Gareth. Having said that I take your point - they aren't necessarily malicious or cruel. I think David's mistake was in trusting Nicola enough to attempt a wind-up because the way she reported back made Joe think it was malicious. btw planning a wind-up is also done behind someone's back and how are they to know that it is done without spite or malice if they don't know you very well?
Hard not to feel sorry for David though when, in trying to work out why Nicola had taken a dislike to him, he asked Timmy "what have I done". Bless!