why??

He has more talent than all the England players put together - and much more likeable

He'd sing a better World Cup song

He's nifty and light on his feet - all the English squad are too slow and heavy footed - all that having to lug those thousands of notes in their wallets

 He has more chance of scoring a penalty in a World Cup

Less smug than all the England players

He'd actually dance in a nightclub instead of brawling with bouncers/getting arrested/snogging some kiss & tell floozy

He'd look good in an England strip (he'd look even better out of it!!)