So this giant rabbit walks into the bar, and orders a pint and a cheese toastie. He leaves quite happily.

He comes in next day, and orders a pint and a bacon, lettuce & tomato toastie. He leaves quite happily.

Next day, he comes in and just has a pint. "Nothing to eat for me thanks" he says to the barman, "I felt so ill last night. That's what comes with mixingmetoasties!!"

jondoe:

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender say "What'll it be?". The skeleton replies "I'll have a beer...and a mop please."

haha delayed reaction, took me a while to fathom it.lol

why do elephants have big ears ?

cos noddy wont pay the ransom.

kewlep:

 A dog limps into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Don't get it...

onthetequila:

kewlep:

 A dog limps into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

 

Don't get it...

... think 'cowboy accent' ott -  I'm looking for the man who shot my pa (my dad)!

onthetequila:

kewlep:

 A dog limps into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

 

Don't get it...

get off the tequila...its obvious.....lol...

Tonto and the Lone Ranger riding through the wild west, all of a sudden Tonto gets of his horse, puts his ear to the ground, and says, "hmm, Buffallo Come"...

The Lone Ranger impressed says, "thats amazing, how do you know"?

Tonto replies, "hmm, Ear stuck to Ground".

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?

Anything you want, he can't hear you!   Boom Boom!

The final entry in Anne Frank's Diary

"Today is my birthday. Daddy bought me a drum kit" 

If you have a dog house and a washing machine then how many pan cakes you can eat?

As much as you can.

Because you have nothing to do with it.

Stevie Wonder is playing a gig in Tokyo.

After a belting set he asks the audience if they have any requests.

Wee Japanese fella at the front shouts up "Play a jazz chord"

So Stevie sets about playing an amazing Harlem Jazz Blues Set for 15 minutes.

The wee fella shouts up again...."No, No play a Jazz Chord"

So Stevie says "Look if you think you can do any better then come up here and do it"

So the japanese fella gets up on stage, sits at the piano, pulls the microphone to him and sings......

"A JAZZ CHORD TO SAY A RUV YOU, A JAZZ CHORD TO SAY A DOOOHOOOOO"