Hi there everyone,
I am new to the forum but I enjoy watching the Jeremy Kyle show and other similar TV programmes.
One of the topics that is close to my heart is heroin addiction especially when in relation to recovering and ex addicts and how they finally found the courage and strength to turn that corner.
My wonderful son was once a heroin addict and his life was an ugly and total mess and my biggest fear was that one day there would be a knock on the door informing me that my son had been found dead from an overdose. Words cannot begin to describe just how it feels to watch someone you love sink further and further into the gutter and as a mother, it is the most painful experience on earth. My heart goes out to any caring and loving parent whose son or daughter is addicted to this evil substance and never again would I judge any parent whose child ends up like my son.
In the beginning when I first discovered my son's addiction I thought "get him back home with me and I'll soon make him better" I thought mum could take care of him like I did when he was a little boy - but boy oh boy ..... how very wrong could I be and I soon learnt that heroin has an amazing hold over the addict’s life and until they, themselves hit rock bottom and decide they want to change their life, there is absolutely NOTHING anyone can do to help them. In fact by trying to help them, you are really just making things worse as by caring for them you are in fact cushioning them from the consequences of their addiction!
My son would shoplift everyday in order to fund his habit and the shame on the family was enormous. We only live in a small seaside town and we ourselves own a shop too and the day the local paper reported "Local Heroin Addict Fined!" I cried with embarrassment at having to walk out of my own front door and face the wagging tongues and prying eyes. Soon after that my son moved away from the area as despite his addiction he still felt ashamed of how he was living his life and I think knowing everyone was looking down on him just got too much to handle. I must confess inwardly I secretly felt relieved that I wasn't having to cope with all the problems that his addiction brought to our door, but at the same time, I also felt immense grief, heartache and worry at not knowing how he was coping or if he was suffering. It was indeed a terrible time and my heart was breaking with sadness and pain.
My son's life continued to go from bad to worse and he ended up in prison for theft and jumping bail etc. Now although prison is not the best place to send an addict in my opinion, at least I knew where he was and that he was relatively safe. So strangely enough, him being in prison was a relief for me and it was the first time for a long time that I didn't go to bed every night worrying myself sick about him. He left prison with new hope but regretfully, it was not long before he once again was back using heroin and he very soon progressed from smoking it to injecting. I truly felt now that it was only a matter of time before that dreaded knock came on my door!
My son's addiction seemed to be spiralling out of control and even though I tried everywhere to find him help, there was very little help available in our area and what help was out there, there were waiting lists of several months for each appointment. I feared we were completely on our own with this problen and I felt so alone and helpless and often wondered where on earth had I gone wrong? Why my son? I felt a failure as a mum and blamed myself for my son's pitiful existance!
One night I happened to be watcing a TV documentary about a private drugs clinic in London. They were discussing a proceedure called a Naltrexone implant that is put under the skin of a heroin/opiate addict. For those who are addicted to opioids, Naltrexone works by blocking the effects of drugs like heroin and cocaine in the brain. As an opioid receptor antagonist, Naltrexone simply blocks the normal reaction of the part of the brain that produces the feeling of pleasure when opioids are taken. So basically the user does not get the usual buzz that they crave and enjoy when they inject or smoke it. The implant apparently lasted approx 12 weeks but could only be implanted if the user hadn't used any opiates/heroin for a period of 7 days. The whole point of the implant is to be given to those addicts who are determined to get clean but need a prop to help them. The success rate the programme claimed was quite good but obviously once the implant wore off, the addict could use again but hopefully by that time they were enjoying the benefits of a drug free lifestyle whilst free of the cravings and would be much better equipped to face their recovery process. However, many went to on to have 2nd, 3rd and 4th implants fearing that without them they may relapse. I understand they have now developed an implant that lasts up to 6 and 12 months and you can also take it in the form of a daily tablet. However, the treatment was not available on the NHS and the cost was several hundred pounds per implant.This treatment was only available privately in private clinics at that time but whether it can done on the NHS now I do not know but for those that are interested it may be worth enquiring about.
I was so impressed by the documentary was I that I immediately scoured the internet and found out as much as I could about this treatment and I sent off to a private clinic in London for all the information etc. Once armed with all the info I spoke to my son about it and told him we would pay for him to have the implant if he wanted us to and I asked him to read the leaflets to see what he thought. To be honest he seemed quite disinterested but I guessed this would be his reaction. However, he took the leaflets home with him and I just hoped that the seeds had been sown and at least he would be aware that there was some help out there for him if and when he ever decided he wanted to get clean!
A few weeks passed and my son's life continued to be one endless nightmare with him forever desperate for his daiily fix and sinking more and more into the gutter in order to get it. Endless days of waking up in the morning craving heroin, then having to spend his days shoplifting around his local area in order to fund his out of control habit were taking its toll and he hated both himself and his life! He has told me since that he often felt like ending it all and driving a car into a brick wall or something!
One day the phone rang and my son's pitiful cries echoed hauntingly down the telephone. "Mum - I need your help, please,please help me, I can't take it any more, can I see about having that implant thing you told me about" I was so relieved to hear those words and of course my answer was a resounding "Yes my darling" By now I had already spoken to one of the doctors at the London clinic and discovered it was basically quite a simple procedure done using a local anaesthetic and all we had to do was make an appointment. However before they could proceed, they would have to assess him first and if they agreed to do it then my son would have to go at least 7 days without using any opiates as otherwise he could not safely have the implant fitted!
To cut a long, long story short and as hard and as difficult as it was (and my god it was a terrible experience to witness) my son did manage to stay heroin free prior to the implant and so the doctor was happy to perform this very simple procedure and it took about 20 minutes to do. Basically, that was the beginning of my son's journey to recovery. Don't get me wrong, he suffered several relapses during his journey and he ended up having 3 implants in total but eventually he found the strength to cope with minor setbacks. To be honest without the Naltexone implant both myself and my son do not believe he could have succeeded in getting and staying clean and we know that for my son this treatment has truly saved his life and has greatly aided his recovery!
My son has been clean now for approx 8 years and has a lovely partner, has bought his own home; which he is incredibly proud and fussy about and they are soon to have a new baby (a little boy) which is due in June. He is so excited that he is having a son and I know he will be the most doting father on this planet! His life now is such a happy and fullfilling one and sometimes I just look at him and think what an incredible young man he is. I am so very, very proud of him and all that he has achieved and I am so honoured to call him my son!
I hope mine and my son's story has been an inspiration to other parents of heroin addicts and for heroin addicts themselves and I hope that it helps them to see that with proper help and support, there is a light at the end of some very dark tunnels and my son is living testament to this!
Just one thing puzzles me though and that is: Why don't we hear much about the Naltrexone implant in the media? I often watch programmes such as the Jeremy Kyle show and Trisha Goddard's where help is on offer to alcohol and drug dependant guests and have noticed that there is never, ever any mention of Naltrexone which I consider to be a very remarkable breakthrough in the treatment of heroin/opiate addiction and I am curious as to why it is not more widely spoken about and why this is?
Anyway, my apologies for such a lengthy first post but I so much wanted to share my son's story with those that may be facing a similar problem in their lives!
Sue