I think I can solve your dilemma for you: how about a naked apostrophe stepping out of the bath.  (By the way, 'naked' actually means 'unprotected'.  'Nude' means without clothing, fact fans!)

Re; the whole apostrophe-gate scandal. When applied to the word, 'it' (known to grammarians as the 'dummy subject'), the apostrophe is used only to indicate elision - 'it is' becomes 'it's', because the 'i' of 'is' is lost when both words combine. In terms of possession, one would write 'its', without an apostrophe.  I am ...

The twins are 'entertaining' in as much as they provide a welcome relief from the general blah-blandness of most of the other bunch of nowts.  Their entertainment value is relative - once away from the oddness of the X-Factor show their 'act' will soon look limited and feeble.  I quite like them as young lads - they seem like a polite, ...

How about David Van Day, Jeanette Krankie, Basil Brush and a tin of apricots?

£6.5 million but I don't think she looks very happy.  Big glam house in t'reet posh Surrey countryside, yes, but I don't imagine her neighbours are very, well, neighbourly, do you?  She's probably lonely and in need of proper warm, fun Geordie company.  Geordies are just about the friendliest people you could ever hope to meet - ...

Come the revolution my friend (or should I say, comrade), the likes of Cowell and all the other fat cats will feel our wrath!  First against the wall, Simon - and no using Jamie Afro as a human shield. Mind you, I've said this before and I'll say it (inevitably) again: we have created a monster, people.  We watch the show every year, we ...

Well, who would have thought that the saintly Danniill would have a luvvy strop!  He needs to get over himself - this wide-eyed, 'little me' humble act don't fool me, baby!

Totally agree with you.  When these talent contests first started with 'Popstars' they had a sort of amateurish charm about them.  Over the years they've become more and more Americanised and flashy, losing substance and interest along the way.  Sharon Osbourne was an inspired choice of judge and Pete Waterman gave some proper ...

Stacey sounded awful and looked uncomfortable in that stupid dress - what happened to her fresh and bouncy charm?  They're turning her into Diana Dors!  Sack the stylist! I sort of can't see the point of the professionals offering 'advice' to the contestants each week.  According to May and Taylor every one of them was ...

frannyp: I believe the reason she is hanging around outside his bedroom door is solved next week. Hmm, yes, she is a sleep-walker, fancy that.  Did not see that one coming, oh no, not by a mile.  I was convinced that she is crazy in lust for Jack.  Ahem...