I don't know where else to turn at the moment, so please forgive my post! I have been living with my partner for 15 years,( happy years I thought), and tonight, at 5 pm, he has walked out of my life telling me that he "has to find himself"!. I can not get it to sink in! All his clothes were packed, and I really do not understand what has happened!

I'm very sorry for what has happened to you but I'm not sure this is the best place to turn to. People can be quite mean in places like this and I would hate for them to upset you more than you have been.

I'm not really in a position to offer you any advice as I don't know anything about you, your partner or your situation. Your best bet would be to talk to a friend or family member.

Hi Lija38,

I am really sorry to hear about your situation.  I can't begin to imagine what a shock it must be for you and although I, unfortunately don't have any words of advice to offer myself, I totally disagree with flirtykitty's comments.  There are debates on this forum that some people may not agree with but I don't think anyone on here would be heartless enough to be rude to you about your situation.  You may even find someone on here who has been through the same or similar.  I hope, for your sake, someone is able to offer you some sound advice.  Take care x

You'd be surprised how cruel people on message boards can be murphy, I only said it as a word of warning.

I do feel your pain, but my first instinct is that your partner has met someone else and that is where he has gone. I am basing this on similar situations I have encountered in the past. Nine times out of ten there is another woman. All I can say is that you would not want to live with someone who is not totally committed to you and that you will get over it. I was married 23 years when my marriage broke up. I have a new man in my life now, my own home, great kids and a magic job. It took time and tears but I am in a very happy place.

Thanks everyone for your replies.

snow leopard, you are right. He has got someone else. I thought he'd been distant with me for the last few months, but I put that down to him having just had promotion in his job. It is a woman he is working with. I have found out this morning that they got themselves a place together in September and they have been decorating the place ready for them to move in! I am in a state of shock! I thought he was my best friend as well as my partner. I am truly heartbroken. He was the only man that I have ever trusted. I can't believe it. I keep thinking that I'm having a bad dream and that I will wake up soon.

Sorry to bother everyone, but my friend is on holiday, and my sister will be coming to see me tonight.

I'm glad everything has worked out well for you snow leopard. Goosd luck. xx

Try to keep strong. I know its hard, but at least the two of them know what they are getting. Two faced, deceitful liars. And what goes around comes around, believe me.

That must be very difficult for you lija, I didn't mean to be so blunt in my previous replies, it's just I have never been in a situation like yours so I couldn't offer you any advice. What I do know, fron what you have said, he is not worthy of your trust and love. Hopefully you will find a new, better and happier life without him.

Thank you flirtykitty. You were not blunt, you were realistic. Some forums are cruel, but I don't think this one is.Thank you for your kind wishes. I feel so betrayed! I can not stop crying. I have a pain where my heart should be. I feel like I am going to die.I feel like a zombie.

I have been where you are now and its no fun. But don't let him ruin the rest of your life. The best revenge is to get on and succeed and when you are with someone else, he will hate it. Men are like that - its ok for them, but if the woman has a new life and a new bloke, he will hate it. I promise you. Keep busy, get out and about. It takes time unfortunately.

Hello snow leopard. Thank you so much for your advice. I agree with everthing you have said, but, at this moment, my head and heart can't function! I'm sure you know what I mean. I am in my mid 50's, and he really is the ONLY one I ever trusted! I was married when I was 20. He was abusive and used to beat me. But some how I found the courage to leave him on my 30th birthday. At the time I swore I would never get involved again. Then 9 years later, I met Jake, and I graudally got to trust and love him so much. I can't get over the betrayal. I fhe had said that there was some one else, I think I could more, but it was such a bolt out of the blue! I can't imagine ever being happy again, but, I'm sure I will because there are so many (like yourself) who have come through the other side. But for me, it's early days. I will take on board what you have said. Take care, and thank you once again. XX

Hi lija38.

Sorry that you seem to be having such a bad time.  I have never been in your situation so I can't really offer you any advice but I do hope that things work out for you and there are always nice people on this forum who are here to listen and offer advice if they can.

 

Hello lucky l. Thank you. You are right, there are some lovely people on this forum. I still can not believe that he has left me. I keep thinking that he'll be back this evening and say that he's made a mistake. But I know that's not going to happen.

Take care, xx

Hi lija,I had a similar experience but my husband did not walk out but was killed on active service.Over the years I have realised the biggest mistake I made was withdrawing from public contact and isolating myself. Keep in touch with family and friends they will pull you through.Good luck be strong you have done nothing wrong you deserve better than a two timing rat

Hi davgor, Thanks for your words of comfort. I am trying to face the outside world, but I can't face anyone. I am so. so sorry to hear that your husband was killed on active service. That must have been truly awful. What I'm about to say, most probably will sound awful to to you, but please forgive me, I do not mean to hurt or offend you or anyone else who have lost a loved one through death, (God knows I know that feelin is like because I lost both my parents at a young age), but if he had died, at least it would not have been his choice to leave me. Do you know what I am trying to say? (Sorry, I'm not very good with words). Please believe me when I say that I am not trivilising ( sorry about spelling) yours or anyones loss. But it hurts so much because he chose to leave me at one of the worst times of my life. You are right, he is a rat, I wish I could hate him. (Maybe that will come later.)

You take care, God bless. Lija. XX